flash flash flash

exhaustion.

but exhaustion from traveling is a beautiful thing :)

oh Vancouver. you are one great city. especially your sky and your clouds. amazing.


pictures are coming...

dispassion

ladies and gents..
there's something wrong when one cannot be him or herself in any situation.
i could never be my 'real' self to my parents when i was a teenager.
i was a crazy rambunctious wild child, but in front of them, i was an angel :)
now, when you are older of course most of the identity crisis things go away and who cares who you are.. you're an adult now, right?
WRONG.
think for example people who are marginalized or people who society easily judges.
not even society, but the church.
yes, the church judges.
and yes, the church is called to love and not judge, but... we judge.
we judge and force people to pretend to be someone who they really aren't so they will be accepted.
we're not talking about high school here but the body of Christ.
Christ our Lord who suffered the worst death and took upon himself all of our sins and shortcomings.
Our God suffered death.
He died, rose from death, conquering death and sin.
So that we don't have to kill ourselves with sin.
So that all we have to do is share this truth about God and love one another.
Love...

anyway, that wasn't what i was initially thinking.
i was thinking that it's torture not being myself.
living a double life when i was a teenager was mostly fun.
but now as an adult not feeling like i can be who i really am... sucks.

don't worry, this doesn't pertain to most parts of my life.
i'm mostly myself. only on certain days of the week i can't be...

sidenote: simon rode his bike without brakes. silly man.

! finally thought of a tattoo i'd want if i had to get one: tattoo of simon riding his bike. on my forearm :)
HAHA

pic: bike in snow

i have a dream...

why is it that all amazing thoughts and revelations come to mind in the shower, but once you step out, you forget them all?

today i met Gregory.
he sleeps on the steps of the church i live next to.
has the most honest and thoughtful things to say.
i love listening to him.
today he reminded me to be thankful for family.
i am thankful.

dreams (not the ones you get during sleep, but ones you think about and hope for) suck because they're just dreams.
not reality.... yet.
i have a dream.
it consists of dc, invitations, flowers, and jobs.
but only a dream...
for now.

random fact: when he works on his bike, it's almost as if he isn't in the same world as i am in.

picture by van gogh. amazing man. deep, spiritual, compassionate, humble, and broken. like a lot of us.

throat ache or sore throat?

i slept through the night with aches in my throat.. emily says it's called "sore throat" not throat ache. whatever, you wanksta.

it was 12pm and i was still in my pajamas.
one of my housemates came home from work during her lunch break.
i felt bad to have not even started my day when she had been up since early morning working hard.
i told her this is what happens when i have nothing to do and have no job...
then... she spoke the truth.
she says, "you have a really important job as the children's pastor"
shoot.
i DO have a job.
i keep on forgetting though.
this is my confession.

side note: finding a job (you want, that's beneficial and meaningful) is hard.

the picture: found it on simon's comp. i miss his drawings.

question

can a person ever be completely satisfied with his or her life?

my camera is being borrowed by my brother..
rainy and cold outside.. so bike is unmoved in the study room.

no camera + no biking = sit in front of computer and look out my window and wonder what all those people in the building across the street are doing in their cubicles

i think... brains are weird.