Wednesday, January 5, 2011

new day.
new morning.

a new job. maybe.

today i have an interview @ 2. we meet over coffee to get to know one another and talk about the position.
it's only a very part time job so i should be spending my winter break wisely by looking for other jobs, but i haven't.. yet.

i surprise (and frustrate) myself with my laziness and my ability to pass days without doing anything productive.

i can see myself doing the same nothing for days and weeks... months and years. then i'll be 40 years old with a child or two with nothing to show for my life.

that's my worst fear. letting my life go by without doing anything i dream about doing.

like i said in a previous post.. dreams suck because they're only dreams.
but i guess dreams offer hope. hope. hope is awesome.

i'm pretty excited about the interview today. i won't say what the position is for or what the organization is.
but it's a pretty important job... at least for me. and it will be life changing and challenging...

speaking of challenges, i have come across a new level of challenge in my life - talking theology with my parents.

the other night i went home to have dinner with my parents. the night ended with my dad and i talking around theology and around our beliefs about the Bible. at the near end of it, i had to sadly and dishonestly agree with his beliefs just to end the conversation and not instigate further issues. ugh. i already had tears collecting in my eyes before i put my shoes on to leave. as soon as i got in the car and started to drive away, i burst into a good cry.

i haven't had a cry of frustration like that in a while. ha. i wonder if boys ever do that.

as much as i hate arguing about the Bible and theology with fellow Christians, i believe it's important for us to talk about such issues that arise in our world (and minds) these days. it's easier for us to focus on the things we agree on and gloss over the parts we disagree on, but don't you think there should be genuine dialogue between Christians that helps us to understand one another and learn from one another? maybe such dialogue shouldn't happen between all Christians. but for those who really love and respect one another's ideas and opinions should have an open ear and open heart to listen.

i felt that my parents did not listen. i don't care if they don't have the same theology and beliefs as i do. i just want them to listen.

i need to listen.

it's not about who's right or wrong. it's about what Jesus came to do. it's about God's love. it's about renewal. reconciliation.

my interview is for a position at an organization that's about God's love, renewal, and reconciliation.

unlike most churches.

this is one of my favorite pictures of mine. birds are cute and interesting. some walk as humans do, and some hop with both their feet (both of their feet?). i wonder why all those birds fell from the sky in arkansas.